Silly Songs with Snape: Endangered Love
by Phantasia
Summary: Snape is reading his weekly series, and he has unwanted guests.


*Tango music plays in the background*  
  
{Ron Weasley, whispering} And now it's time for Silly Songs with Snape. The part of the story where Snape comes out and sings..... A silly song. Oof!  
  
{Harry} Sorry.  
  
{Ron} Watch where you're crawling!  
  
{Hermione} You know, we really shouldn't be in Professor Snape's room. We'll get expelled for sure!  
  
{Ron} Shut up, Hermione, or we'll get caught for sure.  
  
*Hermione pouts*  
  
{Ron} Let's continue.  
  
We find Snape as he follows the tragic saga of the upcoming events of Sybil Trelawney, the Divination teacher. She has made an "autobiography" of her upcoming life and made it into a series which she sells once a week. She has entitled this series "Endangered Love."  
  
*Sing to the tune of "Endangered Love" a.k.a Barbara Manatee*  
  
{Snape, unaware of the students who have invaded his room} Sybil Trelawney!  
*Trelawney! Trelawney!*   
You are the one for me!  
*One for me! One for me!*  
Sent from up above!  
*Up above! Up above!*  
You are the one I love!  
*Trelwaney, oh Trelawney!*  
  
[Man who looks uncannily like Gilderoy Lockhart] Please don't cry, Sybil! You're so nice, Trelawney! You've been so good to me. But I must go into the world and get credit for works that I haven't done. And you can't come because you're too, um, busy. Yeah. Au revior!  
  
[Sybil] But if you leave, Gill, who will buy my crystal ball? Who's going to buy my crystal ball, Gill? I have a new desk and cloth, and new crystal ball cleaner! Who will buy my crystal ball?  
  
{Snape} I'll buy your crystal ball!! I mean, um, buy you're own crystal ball!  
  
*The students are practically dying from trying not to laugh.*  
  
[Sybil] Please don't go!  
  
[Gilderoy] I must!  
  
[Sybil] Don't go!  
  
[Gilderoy] I must!  
  
[Sybil] Don't!  
  
[Gilderoy] Must!  
  
[Sybil] Don't don't!  
  
[Gilderoy] Must must!  
  
{Snape}Sybil Trelawney!  
*Trelawney! Trelawney!*   
You are the one for me!  
*One for me! One for me!*  
Sent from up above!  
*Sybil is from Heaven!*  
You are the one I love!  
  
*Snape begins to dance around the room with a dool looking much like Sybil Trelawney. It even has hair!*  
  
{Snape}Sybil Trelawney!  
*Trelawney! Trelawney!*   
I'll be your mona me!  
*Mona me! Mona me!!*  
I'll buy your crystal ball!  
*Crystal ball! Crystal ball!*  
If it's not at the mall!  
*You wouldn't catch him dead there!*  
  
[Sybil] Gill, I've quit being a teacher.  
  
*Students leap silently for joy!*  
  
[Gilderoy] You have?!  
  
[Sybil] Yes. It's a bunch of crock anyway.  
  
[Gilderoy] Sybil Trelawney, I always knew you could. I'd always HOPED you would. Now can we can go into the world and get credit for works that I haven't done?  
  
[Sybil] Yes, but first, Gill, will you buy my crystal ball? Oh Gill, will you buy my crystal ball?  
  
*Snape holds his breath*  
  
[Gilderoy] I can't. I'm flat broke. Why do you think I'm leaving?  
  
[Snape] Yes! That means I can buy the crystal ball! I mean, good. You don't deserve it!  
  
*Gasp*  
  
[Sybil] You can't?  
  
[Gilderoy] No.  
  
[Sybil] I must go!  
  
[Gilderoy] Please don't go!  
  
[Sybil] I must!  
  
[Gilderoy] Don't go!  
  
[Sybil] I must!  
  
[Gilderoy] Don't!  
  
[Sybil] Must!  
  
[Gilderoy] Don't don't!  
  
[Sybil] Must must!  
  
{Snape} Sybil Trelawney!   
*Trelawney! Trelawney!*   
You are the one---  
  
*Door slams open!*  
  
{Dumbledore enters} Severus? What are you doing?  
  
{Snape} Umm, just reading a book, Headmaster.  
  
{Dumbledore} Well, maybe you should start grading some of the homework.  
  
{Snape} Yeah, okay.  
  
{Dumbledore} Say, isn't that the voodoo doll you made in class those many years ago? It reminds me of someone.  
  
*Snape begins to sweat bullets*  
  
{Dumbledore} Oh well. Goodnight, Severus.  
  
{Ron} This has been Silly Songs with Snape. Tune in next week to hear Gill--I mean Professor Lockhart-- say:  
  
[Gilderoy] Sybil! I'm no longer broke!  
  
[Sybil] Oh Gill!  
  
{Snape} Drat!  
  
  
  
AN: Sorry for it being so incredibly long since the last Silly Song update. Do to some computer difficulties, I haven't been able to upload anything in forever.  
  
Thanks to everyone who reviewed my stories! I really appreciate it. Don't forget to review your favorite Silly Song for the countdown!  
  
AN2: Please go and see Crazy Diamond's work, then review. His stuff is so funny!!!!! If you liked this, you'll definitely love his stuff. And even if you didn't like this, his work is still great! 


End file.
